ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY!
ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY!
Dear Husband,
This Is The Only
Wife System Upgrade You Will Need This Year!
Same Wife. Still Loving You. Still Choosing You. Still Highly Annoying - But Worth Every Bug Fix and Upgrade.
Dear Husband,
Same Wife. Still Loving You. Still Choosing You. Still Highly Annoying - But Worth Every Bug Fix and Upgrade.
This year's Anniversary Upgrade Is a premium, limited edition, Tailored Only For You
Wife Version 3.0 Upgrade Includes:
Lifetime Love + Surprisingly Low-Maintenance Loyalty
Constant affection, support, and only need the occasional snack to stay happy.
Daily Emotional Support + Unsolicited Advice
I will listen (without scrolling my phone), I will hype you up, and sometimes… unsolicited extras.
Twice-a-year Shoe Decluttering
(my shoes, not yours)
You will watch me donate 5 pairs and then buy 10 new ones. It’s tradition.
Ultra Laundry Efficiency
Washing, folding, sniff-testing, and magically knowing which stains are your fault.
Dishwashing Included
I will wash, scrub, rinse…and proudly break fewer plates than last year.
(Continuous improvement in progress.)
Bonus: Ironing + Clothing Rescue
Shirts ironed on a semi-regular, promise-I’ll-try schedule.
Minor button reattachments and emergency hem fixes included.
(Results may vary, love guaranteed.)
This year's Anniversary Upgrade Is a premium, limited edition, Tailored Only For You
Wife Version 3.0 Upgrade Includes:
Lifetime Love + Surprisingly Low-Maintenance Loyalty
Constant affection, support, and only need the occasional snack to stay happy.
Daily Emotional Support + Unsolicited Advice
I will listen (without scrolling my phone), I will hype you up, and sometimes… unsolicited extras.
Twice-a-year Shoe Decluttering
(my shoes, not yours)
You will watch me donate 5 pairs and then buy 10 new ones. It’s tradition.
Ultra Laundry Efficiency
Washing, folding, sniff-testing, and magically knowing which stains are your fault.
Dishwashing Included
I will wash, scrub, rinse…and proudly break fewer plates than last year.
(Continuous improvement in progress.)
Bonus: Ironing + Clothing Rescue
Shirts ironed on a semi-regular, promise-I’ll-try schedule.
Minor button reattachments and emergency hem fixes included.
(Results may vary, love guaranteed.)
Remember How Life Was Like Before Wife?
Before Wife
After Wife
- Peaceful life with zero emotional quizzes
- Walk-in wardrobe = roomy, breathable, spacious
- Phone gallery: fruits, flowers, neat
- Zero trace of pet fur
- Music choice - calm, logical, predictable
- Surprise emotional pop quizzes any time of day
- Closet reduced to a tiny, diplomatic corner
- 89,256 selfies a year and counting
- Cat fur couture on every outfit you own
- Loud music that keep your heart rate (and sanity) up
Remember How Life Was Like Before Wife?
Before Wife
- Peaceful life with zero emotional quizzes
- Walk-in wardrobe = roomy, breathable, spacious
- Phone gallery: fruits, flowers, neat
- Zero trace of pet fur
- Music choice - calm, logical, predictable
After Wife
Three years ago, you married...
Wife Version 1. O
This Year, Get Additional Three Bonuses With
The Wife Version 3.0 Upgrade
Specially Designed For You.
Unlimited Priority Attention
Even when wife is building funnels
Three Times Cooking Attempts/Year
In particular Grandma's Peranakan dishes
Forgiveness Fast Pass
Three times faster processing time
Three years ago, you married...
Wife Version 1. O
This Year, Get Additional Three Bonuses With
The Wife Version 3.0 Upgrade
Specially Designed For You.
Unlimited Priority Attention
Even when wife is building funnels
Three Times Cooking Attempts/Year
In particular Grandma's Peranakan dishes
Forgiveness Fast Pass
Three times faster processing time
Wait No More.
Get Your Wife Version 3.0 Upgrade Today!
It Will Be Your BEST Investment This Year.
Wait No More.
Get Your Wife Version 3.0 Upgrade Today!
It Will Be Your BEST Investment This Year.
